Enterprise Content Management (ECM)
1. Make sure to include only high-level managers in the planning stages.
Don’t let anyone who actually does the work anywhere near the process. They are “too busy” to be bothered. Senior managers know all of the step-by-step processes, of course, and they have lots of opinions on how these can be made more efficient. (Plus, one of them probably has a brother-in-law who sells ECM software.)
2. Do not appoint a project leader.
Or, appoint several and let them fight it out. You can also appoint one, and make sure they don’t have any actual authority. These are all good. The point is to avoid leadership and accountability at any level.
3. Write up detailed project plans and timelines, and then ignore them.
Make sure there are no consequences for missed deadlines, lack of input, or refusing to engage with the project. Failure to complete critical tasks, which stall the other phases of the project, can produce blame, frustration, and resentment that will keep your project team entertained for months.
4. Fight about who is going to pay for what.
Stall the process indefinitely while refusing to pay for necessities like scanner maintenance. It’s best if there is no clear budget to start with, so everyone can dodge responsibility. Remember, no expense is too small to become an issue!
5. Let the users who whine the most have the most influence.
After all, your employees are busier than anyone else, anywhere in the world. It is an enormous imposition to expect them to learn anything new, or to endure the smallest bit of discomfort while adapting to a new system. Constantly change the project requirements to cater to their complaints.
6. Get lots of advice about best practices for implementation, and then do the opposite.
Don’t listen to anyone who has successfully completed an ECM project before – after all, your organization is “special.” Processes that work for other people obviously won’t work for you, so feel free to make it up as you go along.
7. Refuse to change anything about your current business process.
Don’t even think about analyzing your procedures and seeing if they still make sense. Instead, insist that the software be endlessly customized to fit your quirky, inefficient “business process.” Bonus points for how many times you can insist, “We’ve always done it this way!”
8. Complain to anyone who will listen how awful the new software is, and how your paper-based processes were so much better.
Don’t encourage your staff to work with the new system and give it a fair chance. There should be no learning curve – if they don’t see instant results, obviously, the system is a complete failure. Take every opportunity to criticize the project, and say, “I told you it would never work here.” Be amazed that these ECM vendors can stay in business when they can’t even make this stuff work when they have such reasonable and brilliant customers like you!
